The bond between a mother and a baby is an intense emotional feeling that leads to love and affection. It stirs a mother to get up in the middle of the night to feed and comfort her crying baby. It offers the baby a sense of security and self-esteem. The connection between a mother and her baby improves a child’s ability to learn and socialize in the world.
Babies come into the world ready to bond. Mothers bond in different ways and on different timelines. Some bond with a baby within minutes after birth. Other mothers may take a few days or even longer. For many mothers bonding is a process that develops with everyday caring and interactions.
Here are some ways to begin bonding during pregnancy:
• Use your voice. Babies love to hear their mom’s voice. Start by talking or singing to your baby and see if the baby responds by moving.
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• Reading to your baby during pregnancy also shares your voice.
• You can engage your baby by playing “tag”. When the baby kicks or pushes on your belly, carefully push back to “tag” the baby. Wait and see if baby “tags” you back.
• Another way to start bonding during pregnancy is to lovingly rub your belly.
After the baby’s birth, making skin-to-skin contact can help with bonding. This is usually done by putting the baby on the mom’s belly right after the baby is born and covering both mother and baby with a warm blanket. The baby can hear mom’s heartbeat and her voice. This is an ideal time to begin breastfeeding.
Sometimes either the mother or the baby may have a health problem that keeps them from bonding at birth, or the baby may be adopted. The ability to bond over time can be just as amazing as at birth. Here are some ways mothers can develop a bond over time:
• Practicing skin-to-skin contact works even when there is a time delay. A soft touch while feeding, a massage after a bath, or cuddles throughout the day are all great ways to show you care. Touch is soothing and promotes growth and development.
• Babies love mom’s face. Making eye contact is meaningful and easy. Babies see best at a distance of 8 to 12 inches. When a baby is being held, talked to, or fed, making eye contact helps create a strong bond. Smiling and copying faces with baby is also an enjoyable game for mothers and babies.
Developing a bond with your baby may take a little time, and the experience is different for every mother. Caring for your baby daily, responding to your baby’s needs, and positive interaction all help foster a loving relationship.
Carol Loudermilk, RN Case Manager for Nurse Family Partnership at RiverStone Health can be reached at 651-6498 or Carol.lou@riverstonehealth.org.